I Can't Wait! Or Maybe I Can?

I love receiving gifts. I mean, I can’t think of anyone who’d dislike a good, thoughtful gift. There’s the thrill of a special surprise gift, or just the happiness at finally having something that’s been on your wishlist for ages. The only thing that sucks is the waiting part, right? You’re thinking all about how happy you’ll be when you finally have the thing you’ve been wishing for, and it’s all that’s on your mind. That anticipatory feeling that’s only satiated when you ultimately open your gift and finally get to use it. Most people aren’t happy till they get what they want.

On the other hand, I often hear from some that that anticipatory feeling is the thrill itself; that not having the gift, but thinking about having the gift is what is most exciting. To some extent, I agree with them. Waiting for something you want: it’s both agonizing and undeniably thrilling. Sometimes, I’m even happier in the weeks leading up to getting a gift than I am when I inevitably get it. It almost feels as if the idea of what you’re getting is more exciting than the thing itself. Maybe that’s crazy, but sometimes it’s enjoyable to imagine yourself with something and imagine what you’ll do with it. Once you get the real thing, it can very often feel just the slightest bit disappointing. Whether it’s because your desire has essentially been fulfilled by the idea of it or whether it’s just not as good in real life as it was in your imagination, the real thing can sometimes be overrated.

I have a penchant for collecting decks of playing cards. I had a big card magic phase during Covid, and though my interest for the magic part has since then trailed off, I still find it fun to collect different unique decks of cards, especially with themes that I enjoy. Whenever I order or buy a new deck, I get really excited and I can’t wait to open it up. But when I open it up, I enjoy it for about 5 minutes and then the excitement all but fizzles out completely. Somehow, the anticipation was more exciting than actually having the deck in my hands.

I wouldn’t call it more fun or nicer to have to wait for something, per say. More like, the rush you get waiting for something lasts longer and is sometimes even more intense than the rush you get when you actually have what you were waiting for. Sure, there’s the added bonus of actually HAVING the item, but the novelty wears out real quick.

It’s sort of an inherent quality of all the things anyone has on their wish list. If it’s a physical item, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment by expecting too much. It’s like when someone says not to get your hopes too high, or “if you lower your expectations” you’ll be pleasantly surprised. The same idea tends to translate pretty effectively to anything you wait for: you’ll be a lot happier when you haven’t significantly built up the thing you’re waiting for.

This is all admittedly in retrospect, however. In a state of actively wanting something, I would probably never say something along these lines–it’d be more along the lines of how much waiting sucks. The next time I find myself anxiously waiting for something, be it physical or not, I may reconsider these words. But for now, I have to say the waiting part wins.