Posts

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

  What kind of feedback helps you improve? I always like to think that life has a good balance of good and bad. My culture has a tradition, every New Year, of partaking in a special drink: it starts off sweet and pleasant, then hits you with strikingly bitter undertones. The idea is to provide a metaphor for life; sometimes sweet, sometimes unpleasant. I’ve always appreciated an appropriate balance of these two poles, both from other people towards me and from myself. I don’t appreciate when people are all compliments, but no one appreciates a brutally honest jerk either. That’s why, when I want feedback or help, I also want a good balance of these. Improvement is virtually nonexistent if you’re constantly told you’re great, but there’s minimal motivation to improve if others' feedback is overwhelmingly negative. That’s why I’ve always found that balanced feedback has been the most effective for me to improve on my work. Something that preferably, I’ll admit, appeals to my ego, but...

Give Me a Break!

     There are many kinds of people. The extroverts, who enjoy putting themselves out there and making connections with people. The introverts, who prefer to keep to themselves and participate in reflection instead of conversation. There are also many, many other types of people in between–there’s no strict classification for everyone. But I’m absolutely certain, whatever type of person you are, what you enjoy in life, that you cherish some amount of alone time, just like me.      I love company, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes, nothing sounds more fun than going out to hang out with my friends or talking with my family. I may not be an extrovert, but having people around me can often make a boring day brighter. Other times, however, the last thing I want is to be around others. Whether I’m feeling sad or just mentally exhausted, it’s natural to want a break from friendly or talkative environments and just spend some time with your own thoughts. Often, the on...

Honest Candy Tastes Better...

I’ve always loved candy. Who doesn’t love a sweet treat every now and then? However, my family has always been more health-oriented. One Halloween candy a week, go out for dessert once a month. This was definitely the healthier and better choice for all of us. But for a child, healthy = not delicious, and unhealthy = delicious. The choice was obvious for me. We don’t keep much sugar in the house. Baking supplies for when we occasionally bake a cake or dessert, or leftover candy from some occasion. When I was a kid, one candy was never enough. I’d always beg for more, and I’d always be kindly rejected by my parents. If only I had stopped at that, I might have saved myself a lot of trouble. I began to search for hidden stashes of sugar in our house. Halloween candy bought for distribution and never opened, chocolate chips for baking. I’d watch closely until I was sure my parents weren’t looking, and I’d grab a small candy or chocolate. If I only took one, they’d never notice the differen...

I Can't Wait! Or Maybe I Can?

I love receiving gifts. I mean, I can’t think of anyone who’d dislike a good, thoughtful gift. There’s the thrill of a special surprise gift, or just the happiness at finally having something that’s been on your wishlist for ages. The only thing that sucks is the waiting part, right? You’re thinking all about how happy you’ll be when you finally have the thing you’ve been wishing for, and it’s all that’s on your mind. That anticipatory feeling that’s only satiated when you ultimately open your gift and finally get to use it. Most people aren’t happy till they get what they want. On the other hand, I often hear from some that that anticipatory feeling is the thrill itself; that not having the gift, but thinking about having the gift is what is most exciting. To some extent, I agree with them. Waiting for something you want: it’s both agonizing and undeniably thrilling. Sometimes, I’m even happier in the weeks leading up to getting a gift than I am when I inevitably get it. It almost f...

My Music, or Everyone Else’s Music?

Music and I have always had a shifting relationship. I can imagine that in just a year or so, the songs that I sing my heart out to now will seem boring or embarrassing. “How could I have ever liked this?” I’ll think to myself from time to time, scrolling through old playlists. The genres that I enjoy have barely changed, don’t get me wrong: but the songs, those have had surprisingly brief places in my heart. You would think that there’d be limited room within a genre to be constantly moving through songs, but somehow I manage to keep rolling past plenty of them.  Sometimes I think I move past songs I like because I truly find no interest in them anymore, but I think I sometimes also force myself to move past songs that I do like because I feel embarrassed to like songs that those around me have bad-mouthed. Once in a while, I’ll hear someone say something like “Oh, that song? I hate it so much, it’s just so embarrassing.” You can probably guess who has that song on her playlist. I...